Some Pains Never Cease

Some pains never cease.

            In a world where people come and go like the tide, whether it be due to relocation, death, or severed ties is hardly relevant. Some would say human beings are designed to love, but I do not believe this to be true. Yes, many love, yes many find love in others and if they are fortunate enough—in themselves. However, love is not simply in the word, it is connections. Love is formed through connecting with that which surrounds us.

            Connections are made between both living and inanimate objects, no one person can be the judge of what another could connect with or love. Connections can be made with body language, words, attraction—whether that be to a specific thing, color, sent etc.—we make connections daily without realizing.

            Sadly, just as easily as connections can be made, they can also be broken. Most commonly connections are severed unwillingly by both parties through things such as death, moving, or other forces out of individuals control. While death is painful and the grieving processes suffocating it is somewhat easier to cope with than other things which sever connections. When someone is forced to move away, or dies unexpectedly one can eventually come to terms with it as destiny, fate or out of their control, because, in all honesty, those conclusions are probably a fair conclusion. So despite the initial pain which the permanent separation death presents, the pain can easy with justifications most human beings use to cope.

            The most painful way in which connections are broken is through miscommunication. For with miscommunication comes hatred, guilt, and inward questioning. To form a connection and to love another is a powerful thing, and for that to be knowingly severed is much harder to justify to oneself. To know that you were willingly left, abandoned, shunned or discarded is a painful thing. Furthermore, it is just as painful to sever connections ourselves. I do not wish to judge those who sever connections, nor am I intending to pity those who were left behind—so to speak.

            To be left behind by someone you loved or connected with can be confusing, tormenting, and depressing. One’s mind leads to questions no human being should have to feel. Is it me? Did I break this? I am broken? Should anyone want me? Do I deserve this? Am I that bad? Feelings of self-doubt can be twice as suffocating as a sealed coffin. Self-doubt is hard to shake, maybe another connection is made which reassure you that it really is not your fault that previous connection was broken… and maybe the second you think this thought that connection leaves you as well. To be left, willingly, more than once slowly digs you a grave which depression gladly fills and hugs you tight.