Why Music?

Although I have chosen an exhausting major I am constantly reminded anymore how right my choice was. Despite not feeling "at home" with a clique of music students as I may have in High School and had hoped in College, music is my home-- and that is enough. Whether it be a comparison of the reasonably sized desks in the music building to the awkwardly slanted tiny one's in the building across the way, or the difference between the painful florescent lights in most the other buildings, I am repeatedly finding reasons to want to return to "home base". Or the difference in class sizes. Monday morning music class: 5, Tuesday morning philosophy class: 35. Where professors know your name before you even walk in the door because they took the time to memorize their class roster before the first day, compared to the classes that require name tags up until finals. In the music building one is constantly surrounded with noises-- whether they be good or bad is besides the point. There is a comfort, not a fear to break the silence, nor a judgement for being the loudest sound in the joint. And most of all, there is understanding, an appreciation. 

Even though I may not click nor bond with each of my music classmates, even though we may not get along majority of the time, even when a professor is considered "a tough grader"-- there is compassion. A realization that we are all human and we all know a beautiful language which we all fight to keep alive daily. Understanding that each of us simply cannot be 100% everyday, nor are we machines made to follow commands. Unlike the professors of other departments who require nothing but your best 100%, not blinking an eye to see what could be putting you anywhere below 100%. Ignorant to their own students lives because they choose to be. Untrusting when it comes to emergencies, uncommpassionate when it comes to life crisis's or pain. To get personal with your students is to be a great teacher, you must know a person to know how to teach them; therefore, brushing off a student when they try to communicate why they are struggling to perform 100% is benign and a poor teaching practice. How is it fair to expect a student to be 100% 24 hours a day 7 days a week, if a professor only gives 50% themselves?

So it is days like today, when I struggle to explain to my professors, outside of music, that being a Music Education Major means I am taking 9 classes, compared to the average of 5... and this is the lightest load I have yet to take. Days like today when I have to awkwardly request a note from the doctor when visiting my sick family member in the ICU for proof as to why my assignment will be late. Or weeks like the last, where I got nothing out of class due to being forced to sit through a class (by threat of a grade decrease) in excruciating pain in my neck, because they did not trust I was not trying to skip-- despite talking face to face while holding back tears from pain. It is these experiences that remind.

Remind me how Lucky I am to be a Music Student.

Music brings beauty to all it touches, and for that, I can endure all.