Alone

Sitting, in a crowd of people. Outcasted in a tight knit group. Sitting elbow to elbow, limb to limb. Amongst laughter, geering, inside jokes-- all from the outside. Sitting in a crowd of people alone.
It is more than discrimination. More than depression. More than difference of opinion. More than it would seem. It is the suffocation, the lack of acceptance, the ignorance. Those closest to you, physically, emotionally and socially cannot see. See who you are. See how alone you are. See how weak the plane you sit on is. They choose not to see. They choose to be.
They choose to sit knee to knee, limb to limb. Laughing and geering-- relating. In ways they do not understand, they bond and stick and become. They become a crowd. A pack. A unit. Smoothed into one without seams, simply there.
We sit in these crowds, feeling alone because of an element of that crowd. An element of one. There is that one person that ties you to this unit. But numbers always rule. The numbers are what hold importance. That element will always be primarily pulled to said crowd.That element will always drift to its unit. Elements are meant for a system, to
The element will return to its natural place and that is how one becomes a lone, broken, and irrelevant element in an already developed exclusive unit. A unit that moves smoothly. A unit filled by elements . Your relating element does not make you a part of the unit. The element brings you to the unit and places you on the outside, hoping you find your way inside the unit. It is true what they say-- every "man for himself" If you cannot find your own way into the unit, you clearly were not meant for this unit anyhow.
Survival of the fittest is a joke. For strength is in numbers. Pain is in solitude. Alone.With one's thoughts. Unfortunately, one's thoughts are one's enemies, the worst critic, the scariest place one can be is alone. To be alone in silence is suffocating and can remove one from the reason to stay in solitude. But to be alone in company is deafening. To sit alone surrounded by a crowd and someone you love, unnoticed. People are blind to their words and actions, the pains they cause the exclusions they create.
Those who use the notion that "it's every man for himself" has never tried being alone, fighting to find a home. Those who came up with this idea are used to inclusion. Always having a soft spot to land, never facing the pain of solitude.